I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
