then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
