What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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