We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
