Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
