I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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