I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
