And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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