Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
