I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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