When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
