i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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