Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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