i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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