is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
