Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
