3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
