It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
