there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
