left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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