I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
