okay pat passed out under dana's car
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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