that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
