dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
