this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
