I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
