Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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