You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
