i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
