if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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