Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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