There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
