so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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