well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
