hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
