Michael Bay diarrhea
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
