Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
