Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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