Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize