there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize