she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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