Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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