my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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