Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
