I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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