imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
