we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
