Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
