The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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