Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
