If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I had to cum in my sink.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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