ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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