I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
