he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
