Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
