Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
