I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
