tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
